Monday, January 4, 2010

Every day is New Year's Day

It is now the fourth day of this new decade, and I have yet to produce any kind of obligatory "New Year's" entry. Considering my penchant in the past for exhaustive year-end reviews, it seems strange that I have waited so long to write anything, especially since we had a 3-day snowstorm over the weekend, and before going to work today, I hadn't been out of the apartment since getting groceries on Saturday.

Well. I suppose it's becoming clearer in which direction my paltry New Year's resolutions shall (or should) lie. Perhaps in minimizing distractions?

Really though, this time spent snowed in has helped me realize how much I miss the society of others, and this is perhaps the area in which I need the most work. I'm not the person who always knows what to say at the right time - in fact, my silence is more often due to the fact that I usually do the opposite, rather than genuinely having nothing to say. I rarely, if ever, initiate things. Not because I don't want it, but don't know if it will work. Sometimes I have a hard time knowing if I'm helping or hurting. Perhaps it's worth it to try anyway?

Enough of that. I've decided I'm going to try more. (I really should quit with these increasingly vague Resolutions). This short year has proven beyond a doubt that waiting until some grand new "start" (like the beginning of a decade) is not enough motivation to make me change. If I want to change, I just have to resolve to do it, instead of waiting for something. Because there will never be enough motivation out there if I look at it that way.

I know I wasn't the only Mainer who spent a rather lazy weekend at home, out of necessity and safety rather than desire. But it's not okay to be comfortable with that on a regular basis. I'm already making plans for the summer that will take me out of my comfort zone in more ways than one, and I pray that God will use me to impact others instead of just others impacting me this time.

I also resolve to use less "I" in this blog, even though it is mine.

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