Bye bye

My blog has moved. Actually, I've moved maybe three or four of what I thought were the better entries over to it, but from now on you can find me at Life Together, which is a joint project from me and my husband. It will contain observations about life in general, but also recipes, and updates on new features in our other websites.

Basically, our little home on the web. I think it will be fun! Tata for now, Blogger. It's been fun.

Perspective

I've never heard a valedictory address include "Thanks to my parents for starting me on solids at 6 months instead of 4."

I've never heard an Oscar acceptance speech thank parents for avoiding all bottles and pacifiers when the speaker was a baby.

I've never heard a prison inmate say "If my parents had just used cloth diapers on me, I wouldn't be here."

I don't think I've ever cared to ask my parents whether they placed me to sleep on my stomach or my back as a baby.

Choices made during the baby years are important, but, I feel like too often, some things are presented and followed as "all or nothing" when they are not, or should not be. In the grand scheme of things, many of the parenting choices at this stage have a very temporary span of importance. I suppose this is true of every other stage in life as well.

And yet it is often these "externals" that receive so much of the focus. Of course, health and safety are important. But the deeper things - love, discipline, empathy, grace... they're so much harder to grasp sometimes - to view in terms of daily actions and reactions. I do try to learn as much as I can about the externals, but I have to remember that they are not a substitute for the deeper things. Following a bunch of rules can bring good results, but limited ones. When it's all said and done, a lot of the things that are touted as all-important probably will not matter so much.

That doesn't mean that what I'm doing doesn't matter. It does. But ultimately, reminding myself of this should be freeing. Since the incidentals, "methods," and "labels" should not be all-encompassing, then "doing what works" in many areas is not going to ruin a child. And if it isn't freeing, then maybe I should chill out a bit. Perspective: It's what I need!

You could be living in someone else's paradise

While writing up a hike report for the launch of the new website D has been working on lately (http://www.hikerspace.net), I was reminded of our honeymoon, since that's when the particular hike took place.

Personally, I think we spent a week in paradise. No, I wasn't laying on a tropical island beach sipping on pina coladas, and it may not be other people's idea of paradise, but there was a part of me that wishes I could just stay there forever.

We stayed in the little town of Stonehaven, on the Scottish coast. It is a small but robust town, with plenty of local shops, sandwich shops with real French bread, restaurants that serve delicious local seafood, including real Scottish fish 'n chips - a bit of nostalgia from my childhood. The town is bordered by a small harbor with several piers and boardwalks, and lots of boats. About a two-mile walk down the coast is the gorgeous ruins of Dunnottar Castle, surrounded by cliffs and breathtaking views.

Down the coast in the other direction is another walking trail that leads to the ruins of an old church.

There is also a woodland walking trail nearby, as well as a train station to allow easy travel to other parts of the country. History, nature, beauty, and culture (not to mention Scottish accents!), all contained in a tiny town surrounded by pasture lands that produce locally sourced meat and dairy products. In a word: paradise.

Thinking about this reminded me of a story one of my photography professors told in college. He was in a small European town photographing a very old cathedral. He had waited for the light to be just right, and was setting up the perfect shot of this beautiful relic. A woman walked by and saw him, and asked what he was doing. When he said he'd come to photograph the cathedral, she replied, "That old thing? What for?!" She had walked by it so many times that it was just another fixture in her town. She couldn't imagine why anyone would go out of their way to appreciate it or try to photograph it.

In the same way, I doubt any of the residents of Stonehaven know that they are all living in my idea of paradise on earth. But for many of them, it may not be. For the high school student stuck working weekends at the fish bar, they may be hoping to take off as soon as graduation comes, for a bigger and better city - they may feel stuck and cramped in a tiny town like that, and yearn for freedom.

And then I thought, you know, for all I know, I might be living in someone else's idea of paradise on earth! You probably are too. No matter where you are, there is probably someone who wishes they could be there. For people who feel stuck in the country, there is probably someone just waiting to save up money for some land so they can get out of the rat race of the city and have some peace and quiet. For anyone who feels stuck in a colder climate, there are people (though perhaps not as many) who find the heat oppressive and would actually prefer colder winters. And that's just scratching the surface when you consider people who would do anything to live in a first-world country at all - never mind the climate.

It's good to remember these things. There is nothing wrong with me appreciating the beauty and uniqueness of Stonehaven. It, and other Scottish places will always have a place in my heart. But if I keep yearning after them, not only will I stray into idealization, but I will miss the beauty of where I am, right here, right now. Yes, there will be frustrations here. But that will be true wherever I am. If I moved to Stonehaven right now, it probably wouldn't be long before I discovered things about the town, or government, or weather, (or even residents!) that I really didn't like.

It's the same even with "where I am" in the non-geographical sense. No matter what stage of life I'm in, there will be things I don't like. But there are still people who wish they could be where I am, and it's something I need to keep in mind. I don't mean in a sense of "cherish every moment" idealism, because there will always be frustrations and they shouldn't be minimized or negated or swept under the rug. But it's not wise to yearn too much for the future, or idealize the past, or "what might have been." Instead, I should remember how much good there is in where I am, right NOW. Sometimes a fresh perspective makes a lot of difference in remembering how blessed I am.

You surpass them all

Several years ago, my husband introduced me to the book "The Little Prince," by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry. It is an odd story upon first reading, but it has a lot of layers to it - aspects of the story function as parables or fables, communicating something much deeper than what may appear to be on the surface.

One story involves the Prince describing "his" rose, to his friend the fox:

But in herself alone she is more important than all the hundreds of you other roses: because it is she that I have watered; because it is she that I have put under the glass globe; because it is she that I have sheltered behind the screen; because it is for her that I have killed the caterpillars (except the two or three that we saved to become butterflies); because it is she that I have listened to, when she grumbled, or boasted, or even sometimes when she said nothing. Because she is my rose.

Though presented in a rather unconventional manner, his relationship to the rose is a representation of true love, and the bond that forms between two people who are truly in love. The prince loves his rose, not because she is the only rose out there. And yet, as he mentions in another part of the book, she is "unique in all the world" to him.

I was reminded of that while talking with D this morning, and as we talked, a verse from Proverbs 31 (29) came to mind:

"Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all."

Unfortunately, I think it's too easy to read this as an objective statement. That there is a certain hierarchy or ranking of women, and this woman just happens to be on top because of all the good things she does. No doubt her character and deeds are admirable, but this statement is something that her husband has said of her.

I thought about that in terms of my own husband. There are many reasons why I love him. He is kind and loving, he is hard working, he loves people and serves them with a true servant's heart, and he is generous and protective of his family. I could go on and on. And while I love him for all those things, I also love him because he is my husband. My love for him does not depend on some kind of "ranking" of his traits or qualities against other men. There are many other men who are good too (and a lot who are worse), but he is unique in all the world to me, and I love him for that. And I know he sees me the same way.

This kind of idea isn't always encouraged. I'm reminded of a dating site I've seen ads for, called "plenty of fish." It goes with the idea that is often spoken, especially after a break-up: "There are plenty of fish in the sea." It doesn't sound like a heinous idea on the surface, but I really think it contributes to a de-valuing mindset in regards to people. They're just fish. There are lots of them out there, and available to sift through or peruse at your leisure. By the basic principles of mathematics, you will find another one soon that might be acceptable, so don't worry.

There are indeed plenty of people out there. Many of them have very good qualities. Just like the prince knows there are millions of other roses besides his rose. So if you or I were to say that our spouse "surpasses them all," it is not meant as an insult to anyone else's spouse, because it's not a competition or hierarchy, and it would be silly and wrong to portray it that way - it's about loving the person for who they are, learning about them, investing time and energy into being with them even during mundane times that no one else would pay attention to - even, as the prince says, when they say nothing.

There are many who do noble things, but my husband is unique in all the world to me. When I say he surpasses them all, I am not putting anyone else down, because I simply am not looking at anyone else that way. He is mine and I am his. And if you are married, the same is true of your spouse too. Let them know it. :-)

Motherhood: the best job you could ever have?

I am blessed to have grown up in an environment that encouraged and affirmed family relationships: marriage, parenting, siblings, etc. I firmly believe that families are the building blocks of society, and therefore healthy family life is essential to good communities.

So let that be the backdrop for the rest of this post. With that in mind, I also understand that it is so necessary and important to continue to affirm and encourage parents as they (we) raise the future leaders, workers, and parents of the world.

But, despite my admiration for parenthood even while single, there were times when I felt like the adulation of its virtues went almost too far - to the point of disparaging other roles. I know I have heard this line, or variations of it before, and while I can't actually pinpoint any particular book, speech, or sermon as a source, it goes something like this:

"Motherhood is the best job you could ever have."

Hearing that made me cringe internally. Not because motherhood isn't extremely important, or because I didn't want to be a mother someday, but the word that struck me was "best." I didn't have a baby until I was 26, and so I spent a fair amount of time as a single and child-free adult (though still not as much as many of my friends have), but I have to admit, it would probably still make me cringe even now.

Why? Because by saying that motherhood is the best job that a woman can have, you are therefore saying that any woman who is not a mother, no matter what else she does, is doing something that is less than best. And that's a lie. "If motherhood is the best job I could ever have," I would think, "Does that mean I'm failing now?" I didn't feel like I was. At least not all the time.

Honestly, I don't think that most people who say/type lines like that really mean it that way. I think what they're mostly trying to say is that if you're a mother, motherhood is the most important of all your jobs. But there are ways to communicate that without making it sound like you're minimizing the jobs and roles of child-free people, or negating their importance. (Or minimizing the importance of other jobs that mothers may have.)

Motherhood is SO important. It's already the hardest job I've ever had, and I've only just started! But it is also a great job, and I'm so glad I have the privilege of being one. It is a role in which you are closely bonded with one or more brand new little people, and you become one of (and at times THE) chief influence to shepherd them through their early years, and beyond. That is a huge responsibility, with so much involvement and potential, and it can be pretty scary sometimes. Affirmation and support are so important. And yes, there may be people who feel as though they wasted portions of their lives, or at least did not use their time wisely, and thought they "grew up" a lot by becoming parents. There's nothing wrong with being honest about those feelings.

But that doesn't mean that having a child is the only way to shepherd and influence the next generation. Many people do that without taking on the role of parenthood. What's truly important is that every person realizes the importance and value in relationships. While immediate family relationships are the obvious ones, they don't have to be the only ones. There are many people in many different stages of life who will either never be parents, or are simply child-free for a season, and to say or imply that the work they're currently doing is good but still lacking without children is wrong and hurtful - especially since, like me at the time, it's not always something that's a current option for them. Child-free people have the freedom and ability to develop relationships outside their nuclear families that parents don't always have.

Again, I think very few people would actually say that line above. Most churches and communities I have been in have done a great job of affirming people in whatever their current stages of life are. But I still think it's worth keeping in mind. The importance of motherhood/parenthood does not mean that the time spent before it is of less importance, for me or anyone else.

That's why it's so important to make sure that in encouraging and building up parents, it is not done in a way that downplays anyone else's role or job, but rather affirms the importance of every role and stage of life.

Pumpkin

I found out a couple days ago that my cat has diabetes.

In one sense I'm glad because it's an answer to what has been troubling him lately, but in another I feel distressed because I know the treatments are more than we can afford or feasibly handle right now.

We live in a time and country where some people will spend a fortune on pets even when they're not chronically ill. It's a sad fact of life that in some areas of the world, pets get better medical treatment than people in other areas of the world.

So yes, he's not a person, he's a cat, and we know his lifespan is short to begin with. But that doesn't change the fact that he's important to me. Obviously our time and long-term financial health are important too, but still, this cat was my friend before I had a family of my own. Clearly I'm torn.

But the more I think about it, the more I realize that to a cat, the methods used to control this illness (needles, daily injections and monitoring, more vet visits, etc.) are rather contrary to his desired mode of living, and he would never understand them. He wouldn't know why I was constantly having to hurt him and not letting him go outside. He might even come to fear me because of all the needles. I suppose some other things in this house are contrary to his desires, but that's beside the point.

The point is, for an animal, he has had a good life. And I want him to continue having a good life, which in this case, I believe, means comfort care. I want him to fully enjoy whatever time he has left, and when it comes to the point where he can't do that anymore, I don't want him to suffer. I really don't think that months and possibly years full of needles and medication are the right choice for us.

He's at least eight years old... I knew it had to happen eventually, and I guess I'd rather have warning. Still, it's a sad thing. He's been with me for five years. I hope he can stay around a lot longer, but if he doesn't, I want to make his last months as loving as possible.

Do I have to start a mommy blog now?

Wow, much has changed since I last updated. I'm married and I have a son - two major life-altering experiences right there, and I suppose a pretty decent excuse for letting my poor blog languish.

I need to get back into the habit of writing though, and while typing one-handed is harder, I can't let that be my excuse because I need to write. It's healthy, cathartic, and therapeutic. Writing is to my brain what a brisk walk is to my muscular and circulatory systems.

But there's a part of me that groans inwardly at the idea of a "mommy blog." Even if I don't try to make my writing all about my role as a mother, I can't help the fact that it is a very significant part of my life and it will undoubtedly sneak into my inspiration, which I don't mind, because to keep it out entirely would be a bit of a loss.

I really can't be down on "mommy blogs" though - I have come across some wonderful blogs out there, written by women who are mothers, that provide timely insights, and truly helpful ideas and practical solutions without judgment or condescension. I would have a long way to go to develop the experience needed to write a truly helpful parenting blog.

Then on the other end of the spectrum, are some blogs that, sometimes under the guise of "sharing information," proceed to regale the reader with opinions on their favorite hot-button issues, and whatever parenting labels they have chosen to align their choices with, subtly (or not-so-subtly) implying that their way is "best," even though they're "totally not judging you." And unfortunately, I know how easy it is to fall into that trap.

Right now, raising a child is a HUGE part of my life. There is no way around that. But something tells me that someday, the issues that seem oh-so-important to me right now (mode of diapering, method of feeding, the extent to which a routine is kept or not kept, etc. etc.) will pale in comparison to the big picture: raising a child to become an adult, with love, discipline, and compassion, and hoping that will come to pass despite all of our mistakes. I don't want to get lost in, or overly committed to the details along the way.

That's what I'm going for anyway. We'll see what happens.

Leave a space

Senior year of college was challenging. I felt like I was dealing with the stress of being pulled in so many directions that I let that overwhelm me at times, and failed to probe the full wealth of opportunity in my various responsibilities, or pursue all the potential in many friendships.

While I still believe nothing is wasted, this fear of stress is puzzling at times. After college I feel like I almost went in the opposite direction for a bit - not putting enough on my plate, and just kind of hoping that it would find me instead.

But now I believe I'm finding a better balance. Especially with the upcoming challenges of the summer (which I shall perhaps go into detail on at a later date), I feel like I have enough without too much. Something I can throw myself into without dwelling on the effects.

I've read that stress is like spice. Without it, the dish will be bland. Too much, and you choke. I've come up with another metaphor that I feel is also rather apt:

As a kid, I used to play sports, such as softball for fun (I wasn't very good, but that's a different story). We would always bring water with us to the games - that was a necessity - and after a while we got into the habit of freezing the water bottles the day of the game, so that the ice would melt during the evening and keep the water cold the whole time.

It's a great idea, but I think most kids at some point learn the hard way that if you're going to freeze a water bottle, you can't fill it up to the brim. Water expands as it freezes, and if the container is full to the top, the ice will burst out of it and crack the container. On the other hand, if you only fill it up halfway, you won't have enough water, and will be thirsty by the end of the game. We learned at a young age to "leave a space" when filling up our bottles, so we'd have enough to drink, but not burst the bottle in the process.

In my life, I'm still wrestling with the idea of "leaving a space" - of planning enough activities/events to stay busy and productive, but also leaving enough time to throw some last-minute things in there if needed. If the time doesn't get used, I end up with some "me time", which is fine, but if it does get used, I won't feel like I'm bursting the brim by adding in another activity I really wanted to do, or feel guilty about saying "no" all the time because I'm just too full.

I don't have it down yet... sometimes I feel like I'm not doing enough, or letting some things/people slide. Other times I feel like I'm not leaving enough time to do "little" things like basic chores. But I'm trying to learn to always "leave a space" - and to always be open to what may need to fill it.

Sometimes

Sometimes you say things you don't feel. Sometimes you feel something but don't say it. But sometimes, you know that something is true whether anyone says it or feels it, or not. I know that I'm loved in ways that run so much deeper than human love ever could, even though it doesn't always feel that way. I'm not even capable of understanding just how much I don't deserve this.

Human love of any kind is no replacement for God's love. Neither is it wise to chase after the one at the expense of the other (not that we can lose His love, but the fellowship it brings about is not worth losing).

I am aiming to learn to be content in all things. Not content as in simply passive - that can be a problem when it comes to being too comfortable in my life. But contentment is a gift. If I allow bitterness, resentment, and discontentment to become my friends, they will start to change who I am on the inside. And that's not something that money, fame, or marriage would ever change. If I'm content with my life now, I am much more likely to continue being content when and if things ever change.

I'm still learning about love, and while human love is a wonderful thing, it alone cannot "fix" me, or save me from anything. I would be let down and discouraged if I depended on it to that extent.

This time of my life is wonderful... the freedom, the friends, the choices and adventure... Help me to appreciate it the way I should :-)

I'm okay

At times I come to realize a taste of the true privilege of owning a vehicle - just coming home in the evening and leaving it down there in the lot - this monster of mechanics and metal that is worth over a thousand dollars (I think), and yet is fully mine, and gets me safely where I want to go. And when I come down in the morning, it's right there. I turn a key, get inside, and can go anywhere I want to. Well, I go to work. But theoretically, ya know.

And yet how quick I am to complain that "Oh, it's cold! The heater takes so long to warm up! Ugh, I have to spend two minutes of my life scraping ice off the windshield! Sheesh, my rear window is so dirty - why can't I have a functioning rear windshield wiper?" I'm such a spoiled brat. Really. And I should be able to realize this more often than just when a major disaster hits an impoverished country.

I am incredibly blessed. And too often I find it enough to just say that and be glad with it, but really, what's the point of a blessing if not to pass it along? Does God bless me because he just wants me to have a sheltered, quiet life, without too much danger, because I'm somehow more special than the people who don't live a life of such high privilege? No!

I would like to be able to do more than just pray and donate some cash - but I'm sure many others would too. I would really like to keep my heart open for more opportunities after this summer wraps up. I'm praying that my sponsored girls in Haiti are okay.

I remember reading a book called "Where we stand: class matters" in philosophy class, and the author talked about the ways people can rationalize not giving to the poor. Because, believe it or not, even people that you see as "rich" have people that they consider even richer than themselves. And the author contended that as long as we have people who we think make us "inferior" financially, we don't feel compelled to give much, because we feel that they should be doing it.

Comparison for the sake of rationalization, or shirking of responsibilities, is a bad thing. But comparison is kinda necessary sometimes, when I find myself getting too content with the wonderful life that I have.

Every day is New Year's Day

It is now the fourth day of this new decade, and I have yet to produce any kind of obligatory "New Year's" entry. Considering my penchant in the past for exhaustive year-end reviews, it seems strange that I have waited so long to write anything, especially since we had a 3-day snowstorm over the weekend, and before going to work today, I hadn't been out of the apartment since getting groceries on Saturday.

Well. I suppose it's becoming clearer in which direction my paltry New Year's resolutions shall (or should) lie. Perhaps in minimizing distractions?

Really though, this time spent snowed in has helped me realize how much I miss the society of others, and this is perhaps the area in which I need the most work. I'm not the person who always knows what to say at the right time - in fact, my silence is more often due to the fact that I usually do the opposite, rather than genuinely having nothing to say. I rarely, if ever, initiate things. Not because I don't want it, but don't know if it will work. Sometimes I have a hard time knowing if I'm helping or hurting. Perhaps it's worth it to try anyway?

Enough of that. I've decided I'm going to try more. (I really should quit with these increasingly vague Resolutions). This short year has proven beyond a doubt that waiting until some grand new "start" (like the beginning of a decade) is not enough motivation to make me change. If I want to change, I just have to resolve to do it, instead of waiting for something. Because there will never be enough motivation out there if I look at it that way.

I know I wasn't the only Mainer who spent a rather lazy weekend at home, out of necessity and safety rather than desire. But it's not okay to be comfortable with that on a regular basis. I'm already making plans for the summer that will take me out of my comfort zone in more ways than one, and I pray that God will use me to impact others instead of just others impacting me this time.

I also resolve to use less "I" in this blog, even though it is mine.

All I want for Christmas.... is couscous

I must admit, I'm quite bemused at the news networks out there, and how they would have us believe that the future of our economic security rests on how much junk consumers buy for each other this Christmas. Maybe it does, what do I know? So what are you waiting for? Go save the country and buy me a present!!!

Seriously, I don't need any presents. I have a roof over my head, and food, and a job, and two awesome roommates, and a cat, and good friends, and... honestly, all the junk I could ever need. Well, I might be needing a new laptop soon. Mine is over 6 years old, which in computer years is more like 86. But I'm sure I will find the money for one, in time. I'm not writing that on any Christmas lists.

So I'm sitting here during my lunch break, which is a whole hour, but always feels much shorter. I just ate my pb&j, and am now surfing a recipe site to try and figure out what kinds of things I should cook this week. I'm specifically looking for something to do with couscous.

I bought a whole bunch of whole wheat couscous in bulk at Whole Foods, and it's good stuff, which I ate a lot of in past months. I usually cook it up with chicken broth and whatever veggies I have on hand - onions, carrots, mushrooms, etc. It was cheap, and quick, and filling, but I just kinda got tired of it. So I'm looking for ways to spruce it up a bit more. And I've found some very yummy-looking ideas. And garlic is included, which is always a plus.

Speaking of spruce, I'm getting a Christmas tree this weekend! I'm gonna haul the cah up to the 'rents place and grab a hacksaw and go into the woods and find one that's the right size (not very big), and then I'm gonna chop it down! And haul my conquest back to my cah, which should freshen up the old cah smell right quick.

I swear I'm not a redneck. Anymore.

Merry Christmas. Shop, cut down trees, and listen to (good) Christmas music, but don't forget Jesus. He's kinda the one who made all the rest of it possible :-)

It was a beautiful letdown

I failed NaNoWriMo this year. I got a good start, then had to take five days off for DC, and a couple more here and there, and before long I realized I had to make a choice between "winning" NaNo, and getting enough sleep to be functional human being. Call me a bad novelist. Perhaps success will continue to elude me until I become a zombie-fied, coffee-addicted, over-dramatic hermit. But it's okay. There will be time for writing. Something tells me it would be far more prudent to develop the discipline to write during months other than November - which I have yet to get very far with. I'm blaming facebook.

But you know what? I'm glad I failed. It meant I got the chance to travel and spend time with some awesome people - it meant I had the time to read and study other books besides my own - it meant my other work wasn't as rushed as it would have been otherwise. It meant I got sleep. It meant I actually talked to people this month, rather than retreating further into my shell.

I won NaNo last year, and all I have is 50,000 words of unedited fiction. I love the characters - it wasn't a total waste, and it gave me good experience on scene-writing. But it's still just laying there. If I'm ever going to do something with it, I'll need to develop more of a routine.

This year's novel is stuck in the middle of the discouraged, seeking, self-absorbed brain of its main character. If getting out of that early meant that that wasn't the case for my own brain, then yes, I'm glad I failed. I hope to always continue failing at my own projects if they only lead me more into the dead shell of myself. There's much more on the other side!

Christmas songs

Ah, Christmas music! It may be a little early, but I'm loving the old memories of last year... and all the years previous. The traditional carols, the newer additions, the musical magic and seasonal serenity - I love it all.

Except that darned Christmas Shoes song.

Why? Are we running out of inanimate objects to attach contrived sentimentality to? Were there not enough songs of sleigh bells and trees and cookies and chestnuts and silver and gold and two front teeth? Christmas shoes? Seriously??

Not to frown upon anyone who likes the song. I understand. Well, I understand everyone's different. It just seems fake to me. Either way, enjoy it if you do. We certainly have an odd variety of songs to choose from sometimes!

The meaning of ignorance

The dictionary defines ignorance thusly:
"The condition of being uneducated, unaware, or uninformed."

This is a common "condition" that can be found in the perspectives of everyone in some way or another. I guarantee that there are some things (most likely obscure and relatively unimportant) I know that you don't. In that one sense, you are more ignorant than me. On the other hand, the more refined our own respective fields of knowledge become, the more subjects there are that you know much more about that I do, making me more ignorant than you.

However, this is a more specific application of the term. If someone was to be called wholly ignorant (of everything), that would imply that they have no education whatsoever, are unaware of what's going on, and aren't informed about anything. In truth, I think there are very few people who fall into this category.

What I'm seeing a lot of though, especially in a climate of high political intensity, emotion, and name-calling, is this term being used as a general insult, applied in a general way over a dispute that is usually about subjects that are much more specific in nature.

It's like another way of calling someone "stupid" but in a slightly more grown-up and politically correct way. It's still intended to have the same kind of sting. Like I said, there are people who are (willingly or unwillingly) very ignorant, but I've come to believe that when the average person calls someone this, all they're really saying is "you don't know the same things I do." News flash. Does that really make a person ignorant in general? I don't think so.

In this case, a good response to this is "ignorant of what?" Get the person to give up their secrets - spill exactly what it is that they know that you don't. Most of the time, all this uncovers is that both people do indeed know things the other doesn't, but that this stems more from a difference of opinions and choice of sources rather than general stupidity.

Two people can both be completely informed, educated, and aware of the stories broadcast by their favorite news network, but if that network has a bias, or the news is inaccurate (which is the case to some degree with every network), then both people will call each other ignorant, simply for following different sources.

For example, global warming and its causes. I'm often annoyed by the scare tactics involved in spreading "awareness" about it, and also the apparent disconnect between this and the previous generation's certainty that we were on the verge of another ice age. But no matter. The point is, I will be the first one to admit that I'm ignorant about many of the sources of this hysteria. I don't know many scientists personally, nor do I spend large amounts of time reading and researching scientific data. I don't know who started this craze (besides Al Gore), who is currently studying it, how many scientists are involved, how many have differing opinions, and how many of these people are really qualified to be making such statements about earth's climate anyway.

Nor am I asking anyone to comment and give me all kinds of data :-P Because that's the point... what I've read about this subject comes from different sources than what many other people read - therefore we're all ignorant. If you're not a scientist doing all of this research yourself, then you're most likely getting any information from second or third-hand sources anyway. I'm also ignorant of many medical conditions. Really, the majority of us are, since very few people are actual physicians, and even physicians don't know everything. Even the "experts" (in any field) must ultimately apply their own interpretation to any data they may find.

There are also "experts" on every side of things. Ever watched a court trial, and seen the experts from both sides give completely opposite interpretations of an autopsy, or other kind of evidence? Who's ignorant? One or both?

Of course, I'm not saying there's an excuse for being willingly ignorant...for refusing to learn or at least hear other sides of things and take other perspectives into account. But I've found that calling someone ignorant just because they have a different opinion than me isn't very smart... it generally means I have three fingers pointing back at myself. The real difference is worldview - I don't believe humans have sole control of the universe, and therefore my views on global warming will automatically be different than someone who believes the opposite. But that doesn't mean I'm ignorant.

The meaning of hate

It's no secret to many people that this world often has (and has had, all throughout history), some very screwed-up definitions of love. I know this partly through observation, but mainly because I've seen seeds of the same misunderstandings in my own heart. True love doesn't just mean reciprocating feelings that others already have for you anyway. Sometimes it means caring about people who don't like you. Real love is not lust, or puppy love, or even emotional affection or casual friendship. But these are all things that the title of "love" is often incorrectly applied to. Using someone else for your own pleasure is not love, and yet it's often labeled by that word.

Most people would readily admit this, because we've all seen examples of it somewhere or other. But one thing that I think is often overlooked is the fact that the word "hate" is sometimes just as misapplied as love. I'm seeing this more and more with the heated political debates, while people take sides on issues and begin applying generalized epithets and political buzzwords to their opponents.

"Hate" is one of these. And I would never dispute the fact that we live in a world with a lot of hatred. Both past and present again provide much proof for our self-centeredness and utter disregard of human life. There is also a good deal of genuine hate in politics. But like I said, this word often becomes just another name for people to apply to their opponents, regardless of the subject matter.

Let me use an illustration. In the movie "V for Vendetta," there is a scene where V breaks into a TV station and airs a message to the people of futuristic London. They are living under a government that rules them by means of fear and injustice, keeping them in submission through regulation and violence. V points this fact out to them, and invites them to join him in standing up to the dictatorship. Once his message is cut off, a regular broadcaster immediately comes on the air and apologizes, explaining that a terrorist had hacked into their system in order to "broadcast a message of hate."

This movie, like most, is fairly manipulative, and audience sympathy is easily shifted away from the government and towards this terrorist and the people he claims to stand for. But that is what makes this scene such an odd contrast - the hero of the movie is aiming to save the people by standing up to the government, and yet his message is labeled as hateful. Clearly in this sense, "hate" is only being used to express disagreement.

But is that what this word really means? I totally agree that there are a lot of people out there who are very hateful, and will use those feelings to destroy others. There are terrorists, yes, but you do not have to be a terrorist to employ hate. This is, however, a very strong word, and I feel that it is often used very inappropriately in political mudslinging. Essentially people are simply aligning their own views along their own idea of "love," and therefore anyone who has any kind of opposition to it must be full of hate. That simply isn't true, anymore than a shallow, lust-based relationship can be called "love."

The word "ignorant" is used much the same way, essentially coming to mean merely "those who don't know the exact same things that I do." But that's a different treatise for a different day.

When it comes to politics, there are many issues that I am for, but there are also many issues that I have no choice but to oppose. Sometimes the government oversteps its bounds (well, a lot of the time actually) and attempts to reassign meaning to things that simply don't mean that. You don't have to agree with me. But don't call me a hater. If you want to assign that word to me, find some evidence for it first, and I'll be willing to talk with you about it - if not, don't just use "hate" to refer to the position opposite to your own. That's a sad misuse of the word, and it cheapens the term when it's applied to instances of actual hate.

A wordle for the book of Habakkuk, NIV

These things are so fun to make!

Writing

There are many writers in this world. It's a trait perhaps more common than commonly thought. And I firmly believe that it's a title that should never be applied solely to someone who writes for a living. Writing is a tool, and anyone who employs it effectively as such has the privilege of referring to themselves as a writer - money means nothing.

I came to think about this because I noticed that there are many people who have lives full of activities - meeting people, leadership positions, traveling, etc., and yet keep a blog or journal on the side to record their thoughts and observations all the while. Sometimes I wonder, how do these people have time to write? And I'm not talking about celebrities with ghostwriters or committees to update their facebook statuses. I mean real people with richly useful lives.

But then it occurred to me... really, what other kinds of writers are there? What would writing be without a wealth of experience and observation preceding it? I began to wonder, is there really any other way to be a writer? We can't all be world-travelers and great leaders, but I've come to see writing as not an end unto itself, but a process by which we take in the world around us - people, events, beauty, nature... and turn that into a shared experience to communicate with others. Which is indeed the very definition of communication, like I've spoken of before. Full circle!

Guac

It's weird trying to figure out the ripeness level of produce I hardly ever purchase, such as mangoes and avocados. I attempted to make some lassi this weekend - it was a simple recipe, so I thought I'd remember it, but I didn't - it's 2 mangoes, 2 cups of plain yogurt, and 1/4 cup of sugar in the blender. Mine ended up having half the yogurt and sugar. It was actually not bad though... a little tart, but yummy. I had it as a smoothie last night and then ate the rest of it like soup during lunch.

I suppose most fruit is the same - it's best to eat it after it starts feeling a little mushy. Well, apples don't fall into that category, but weird fruits usually do. I hear avocados are better when they're dark. I'm going to attempt to make some guacamole sometime this weekend. I think the avocado ripeness level will be the hardest part.

I found a few recipes for it online, but they're quite varied. Apparently true southern guacamole has to have something like cream cheese in it. I can do that. It also needs cilantro. I'm not adding that the first time I do it, just because I don't even know if I like cilantro. It's one of those things I've heard of, and have probably tasted at some point in my life, but if I had it in anything I wouldn't recognize the flavor.

Ah, the adventure!

Apples

I don't know why the big Blogger symbol in the corner has a piece of cake with it - at least on the profile page view it does. Maybe it's the B's birthday or something. That's a pretty long birthday though. I want cake. But I had a klondike bar last night, so I really don't need any.

It's October. For real. I've officially been working in the same place for one year. Only 9 months as a full employee, but still, that's a decent feat. The only other place I can say that about is Fuller's. That was more like 3 years, but it was off & on, and some weeks were slower than others. And I didn't have a computer. I like that aspect of this job.

I went apple-picking a few days ago, and have yet to really do anything with the apples, other than randomly eat a couple of them. I was going to make a pie, but now I'm leaning more towards apple turnovers. I've found a couple recipes online, and a lot of them call for refrigerated biscuit dough. Since I view such substance as a creative cop-out and harbinger of laziness (well okay, I'm just afraid of it because I've never used it before), I'm thinking I can probably do the same recipe if I just make up some of my own biscuit dough beforehand. It doesn't take long, and it can be whole wheat that way. My only concern is that they may be too soft and biscuit-y rather than flaky and/or crispy. But I won't know until I try. So I will. Yay.